Milestones - 4th Grade, 2nd Grade, Preschool, and 11 Months

This was the 1st year in the Baum's history that these children weren't the new kids on the 1st day of school.  Wahoo!  Jace and I felt like real parents.  I dropped Noah off near the playground and yelled a farewell "Good Luck!" out the window.  Surely someone will show him where to find Mrs. Baldwin's classroom?  I love that kid.

But at the Intermediate school, when I started climbing out of the car, Macy gently let me know that I didn't need to walk her in this year.

"Are you sure?"

"Ya."

"Ok then.  Have a good day."

"I will."

"Be brave.  Smile.  You have everything?  See you after school.  Watch for cars.  Don't cry.  Look for other little girls that need a friend.  Mrs. Ward will be so nice, just watch and see.  Have fun."

I don't think she heard half of it.  Tears streamed down my face as I watched her walk into a new chapter of her life.  Why are girls so different?  I'm going to be a basket case if that girl ever decides to marry off.

And somehow I got suckered into participating in a Joy School group for this little guy this year.  I hope I'm still able to sing "Oh, boy I got joy!" after the first week of them at my house.  Why can't I be a good Mormon mom and speak softly to my children and set up craft time in the afternoon and teach them piano?  At times my weaknesses are made so clear to me (i.e. Joy School Mother's meeting).  But Ezra is having a ball.  I truly miss him and his clamming presence when he is gone.  I asked him awhile ago what me and his father did to deserve such a sweet boy?  He said, "nothing."  And he is exactly right.

11 Months

I'm so not ready for her to be a year old.

How did that happen so fast?

We still have so much to work on.  She still is not sleeping thru the night.  My jeans should fit better after a year.   She should love to eat regular food.  She should not be nursing 9 times a day and night still.  Her 3-6 month old clothes should long ago been put away.

I inserted myself into her milestone pictures this month.  It only seemed appropriate.  Me and Mikael.  We are thick as thieves.  When I'm on the computer - she is laying on the keyboard.  When I'm sweeping   - she is doing snow angels in the dirt pile.  When I vacuum, she is following while chewing on the cord. When I am showering - she is climbing the bathtub walls.  You get the picture.

I love this chic.  I know it sounds like I might feel sorry for myself a lot when I talk about this baby that exhausts a lot of my time and energy but don't pity me.  She is a ray of sunshine in our lives.  I married her father because of his enthusiasm for life, his curiosity, his desire to learn and be better and his love for me.  Mikael is her father's child.  She does not know how to sit still or sleep for long periods at a time.  There is so much to see!  And do!  I'm jealous and in awe of her spunk and her ability to steal the show at any given minute and make the room fall in love with her.  And I'm completely flattered at her love for me.  I'm a lucky girl.

Milestone - 30 years. And I'm over it.

I had these visions of turning of 30.  I envisioned I would be wise and confident and that I would know how to cook really good.  And that someone somewhere would take a really great photo of me - like one for the ages.

Mmmmuph.

Oh well.  The truth is I'm still learning how to make hard decisions and still figuring out who I am.  And that timeless picture will have to wait another day or year.

30 was hard.  Sound cliche.  But true.  I'll never be in my 20's again.  That's how birthdays work.  They keep coming.  And 30 was like a dark storm cloud headed my way all summer.  Maybe I am gloomy about it because just thinking about celebrating 30 years makes me tired.  The only thing we celebrate lately is when Mikael falls asleep.  And I should be dancing in the street for all my 30 years.  They have been good.  Real good.

Today, I asked Jace just as Mom used to ask me, "How old are you?"  I know Jace is 32 but when he is squirting my 4 years old with water just to get a rise - the question is appropriate.

Do you know his response?

"How old are you?"

Ouch.  He knew that one would hurt this week.

And sometimes I call in reinforcements. (Milestone - 10 Months)

Her name is Kentucky.  I picked her up at the local Bashas.

Her purpose in life will be to kill.  Mice.  We have seen approximately 32 at the new property and it is no bueno.

We have been practicing rigorous pouncing and catching techniques with Kentucky.  She is almost ready to be released into the wild of our current remodel.

No one loves Kentucky more than Mikael.  She squeals and flaps her arms excitedly at just the sight of her.

Mikael wants to share the love.  Cuddle.  Grab.  Pet.  And show the cat who the boss is.

And then suddenly she can experience a change of heart.  And the cycle begins all over again.

We haven't figured if those are tears of regret, sorrow, remorse, or fear.  It is a complicated relationship between these two.  One we will be able to nourish and nurture in the coming years.

Kentucky will for sure be the meanest best cat around.

Welcome to the family.

Milestone - 9 Months

I think I basically covered my life this month with this little monkey in my last post.

She has perfected the stink face this month.  Although, Ezra calls it her trash face. 

 "Mom, Mikael just did her trash face at me." 

I'm stilling trying to figure out how to accomplish anything during the day when my hands are full (of her).

She smiles (and kisses) with her tongue out.  It is delicious.

She is smart and busy and sensitive and busy and cute.

We love her and wonder what we ever did with our time before her. 

Seasons

I was born in this season of sunshiny days and starry nights.   The summer sun has always burned and then freckled my fair skin.  My birthday was always celebrated on the waters of Lake Powell or poolside at the hotel in Tucson.  I always imagined this season to be my season.

As I dressed my baby before church today in a long sleeve shirt, I found myself looking forward to cooler temperatures and sending my kids back to school.  I long for the quiet days of order and schedules.  I mourn the absence of a clean house and a stocked fridge.

A while back a read a post here from a gal we all know.  One line has stuck with me.   "Connect with each child, face-to-face".  Everyday.  I paused to think.  When was the last time I looked into Macy's eyes and connected?  Had it been longer than just yesterday?

The guilt came gurgling up the back of my throat.

See, I have this baby.  This baby that just yesterday dove head first into a bathtub full of water for her 1st swim.  The neighbors are still saying their prayers that the good Lord will forgive me for the screaming and carrying on they heard as I loudly handled the dangerous situation - badly.

I have this baby that just the day before yesterday crawled from my front door to the street.  The street, I repeat.  I'm guessing the neighbors are now praying for the arrival of a new mother for my poor children.  This baby rarely cuts me a break.  Ear drums ring as she screams her way thru every evening meal.  And sleeping is just not her talent.

Could it be that this baby is just lucky baby number 4?  Her Mother's attention is split, shared, and recycled all day long.  Is it possible that she is sweet calm baby like all the others I have birthed, just not as carefully supervised and nurtured as the others were?  No.  Scratch that.  Not possible.  Mikael was born with a little more fire.  She is courageous.  And smart.  And sassy.  And requires 24/7 supervision from a CPR certified caretaker.

The very beginning of summer brought this project on.  Which then brought on this decision here.  I have no business owning as many children as I do, trying to tear apart one house, attempting to make decisions on how to put it back together again, and keeping the current residence clean for showings.  Then go ahead and throw in a little pink eye and approx. 15 house guests this summer that keep those cowboys beds on my floor nice and hot.  I should start another blog about the bed and breakfast Jace and I run.  It doesn't matter the size of the house we are living in nor the location of it- if you build it they [the Baums] will come.  Craziest thing.

See, I have all these excuses.  I have a lot of reasons why I'm overwhelmed.  Overworked.  Under-rested.  Frustrated.  And discouraged.

My memory of this particular summer will be all these little bodies under this small roof and trying to teach them (and myself) a thing or two about hard work.  As I delicately try to shape these little people, I vow to remember that this is just a season I'm in -  a fleeting moment in time.  There is still time to connect and look into their little eyes.  Everyday.

Turns out this summer is just not my season to shine and play in the sun.

But next summer (and tomorrow) will be better.  And fall is on it's way.  That's the beauty of the seasons.  They change.

Happy 4th

Good ol hometown 4th of July.  Jace humored me this year and we got to stay the whole day in Show Low.  The highlight of the parade was seeing Jace's blue Toyota truck floating by.  Show Low is still my favorite place to be on the 4th - even if it's hot and it always rains and it's Grandpa Mikey's least favorite holiday and Heber happens to have way better fireworks.

Do you know what holiday comes next?

My 30th birthday.

Yikes.

Before I forget - Hawaii 2011

It really was worth every penny.  I'd take all my kids again in a heartbeat.  I loved, loved having all my sisters and parents there.  Can we go again next year?  Maybe Kauai?  Tahiti?  Jess, you in?

Apparently no one told the older ones we were posing in this shot.

Jace paid way too much money for the legit whale bone carving necklace I'm wearing.  He wasn't even mad at me when I dropped it on the tile floor and it broke - the same day he bought it.  

Apparently it looks like I only packed one swimsuit for my trip or apparently the majority of our pictures were taken on the same day.  Just be glad it fit- - that is my motto.

BFF's

Sunset Beach:

I have said it before....but Jace is a ball to have on vacation

Polynesian Cultural Center:

Pearl Harbor:

The big ship in the back ground picked up Osama Bin Laden and then dumped him into the sea.  It pulled into port the day we were there.  And that's pretty much as close as they would let us get to it.

Memorable trip highlights included:

*Swimming with the sharks (Jace had to yell at me to put my head under the water a couple times....I think I would have just doggy paddled around on top of the water in the cage.  It was claustrophobic and intense.)

*Getting caught in a flash flood in our rental mini van (FYI:  just because the locals don't think floods are a big deal does not mean you should drive your family thru one in the pitch dark.  Jace and I almost peed our pants....and our prayers were answered...miraculously we were not washed out to sea)

*Just Dance 2 (we all know who the real winner was, Beet)

*Para sailing (the water was purple and turquoise)

*Ted's bakery (butter rolls-enough said)

*Pearl Harbor (probably the best thing I did.....we missed the USS Arizona tour so we did the USS Missouri battleship tour....so glad we did.  I hope my kids remember it always.  I want to go back.)

*Seeing the navy ship that dumped Bin Laden into the sea 

*Meeting a sailor that was on that ship

*That sailor giving Noah his Navy hat and letting him sleep on his shoulder the whole plane ride home

*The jelly fish that almost took my Noah's life (he screamed like a girl - so I started screaming like a girl - it did not help but Ezra peeing on his brother's leg might of helped)

*Coconut syrup on my pancakes

*Jace's surfing lessons (and his surfing instructors - they were memorable.  wowsza)

*And the unfortunate purse snatching incident (dang locals)