By the way....

We live in Heber these days. Jace sold my house in Chandler. We had talked about it for months and in the end he won. Again.


But the hotter it gets and the more pregnant I get, the smarter I think that man is and his decision to take the check and run. Home. To the cooler mountain air.


Life has slowed down. Most days we are bored to tears in Heber. Ezra wants nothing more than to "go home" on most days and "see his Imran" (our 35 year old Chandler neighbor). And the older children attempt to give each other wedgies all day. Long.



But life is good. I loved my barn house. My neighborhood in Chandler. My neighbors. My ward. My children's school. But I have had zero sadness (except for you, Addie). My children now swim in their underwear on our weekend fishing trips.


And one of the main topics of conversation these days is...

HER.

We are getting a "sister" baby. We can't wait to meet her and as Ezra says see her "tinsy toes."

Oh, what to name her?

This summer's forecast doesn't predict very many more bored days. Jace and I have purchased some fixer uppers. Oh, how we love a challenge. Before pictures coming soon. After pictures following soon after.

Growing. Things.

Easter was everything it should be. Spring weather, dresses, egg hunts, ham, General Conference, friends, and family. But the highlight of the day was this:

If you have spoken or seen my Jace lately, you've heard talk of chickens. And farms. And more chickens. He loves to watch his growing herd. He tells me the name of the breed the white chickens are, or the brown, or the black chickens. He tells me things like, "You'll like them. They will grow up to be short and round." Or things like, "Those right there, they will lay brown eggs."

He bribes the children with quarters and dollar bills. They will rub his back and neck. Well, most the children will. The child on the right is one very distracted masseuse.

The children are almost as proud as Jace of their growing chickens.

And what was suppose to be my growing project, has turned into Jace's other pride and joy. My focus these days is on growing children and a growing belly. Isn't it the most lovely raised garden you've seen? We hope to see it through. And for the record, I put most of the plants into the ground and I've pulled a couple hundred weeds....it's just the watering part I can't seem to remember.

And speaking of of growing things. How about Spiderman's hair? He was sporting this du for months. Jace couldn't take it anymore and buzzed his head this week (no, I did not cry). Often people ask me if my hair looked like Macy's when I was younger.....recently I was able to point to another child of mine's head and answer, "Not really. More like his curls." His loose, fine, sweaty curls. Love that kid.

**Can I just tell you? A couple minutes ago while sitting at my desk, loading pictures, I felt dizzy. Like the ground was shaking or that my pregnant self was going to pass out. I would move my hands from the desk to my legs. My whole body was rocking or so it seemed. Am I going crazy? I would look at Macy standing next to me. Why can't she feel that? I am crazy. Then Jace walks through and casually mentions, "California just had a 6.9 earthquake. The neighbor's pool water was splashing." Wow. Turns out I'm not so crazy. Turns out I'm just "earthquake sensitive." So now not only am I going to have food to eat when the world ends, I can carry a concealed weapon (as of last week), and I sense earthquakes. Jace is one lucky duck.

In Recent News...

I ran over the last puppy, Lucy. And though, my last post sounded harsh and cold hearted, let it be known - I cried. All day. "Who runs over puppies, seriously? And doesn't even feel it?"

Jace said lots of people apparently run over their own dogs. On accident.

Apparently, his own mother ran over 3 in one week.

Ezra still reminds me of how I "died" his Lucy.

It was a tragic day at the Baum house.

Jace and some Heber boys built me a garage and that my friends, is concrete Macy is riding on. Is there anything better in the world than concrete? Oh, glory.

Well, I can think of maybe one other thing. How about a garage parked, black SUV this summer when the temperature is 114? Hallelujah.

And a note about this guy. Noah. He turned 6 last month. He is about the best thing ever. I loved his parent teacher conference yesterday. He read me books he had written in class and showed me pictures he had drawn. I couldn't wipe the grin off my face. Noah is a great student. And for some reason, Jace and I find it completely endearing and hilarious.

This is the only picture I got of Macy on 80's day. The tights. The leg warmers. The denim jacket. THE HAIR. It was my 8 year old self reincarnated. I wanted nothing more than to have big hair like Mauriah and Kirsten. Good thing Kim didn't know that natural curls and brushes don't mix. I walked around with frizzy, big hair well past the 80's. Macy's teacher explained to Jace and I yesterday that 2nd graders are social creatures by nature.

You don't say?

And speaking of hair. My hair is still always a mess.

As is my life these days.

I want to wear a sign on my forehead.

Jace wants to shout it from the rooftop.

Lindsay is not rude, or lazy, or usually forgetful. She doesn't usually cry this much. Or puke this much. She usually loves food and comes running at meal time. Her bedtime has not always been 6pm.

The sign on my forehead would read and the rooftop explaination would go something like this:

Lindsay is pregnant.

We told the kids weeks ago. We told them one morning at breakfast. Jace said, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is, your mother ran over the dog yesterday. Lucy is dead."

We let that sink in for awhile.

"No, you can't see the body."

"No, I don't think she buried it on the property."

"Ask your Mother where Lucy's body is."

He then continued with the good news.

"The good news is....."

"We are getting a new puppy?" The kids asked with voices much too high and eyes too big in their heads.

"Well, no. What would be better than a new puppy?"

Silence.

Finally.....Macy squeaks, "A new baby?"

Yes! Yes! A new baby! In September!

Macy squealed and proceeded to call and tell everyone she knew. She has picked out at least 89 names for her sister and a place for the crib in her room.

The boys. Well, they still aren't buying it.

They still dream of puppies and find it hard to believe that a baby is in my belly. I told them if it is a girl, we will name her Lucy. They had a hard time believing that was a fair trade.

And the last item of news for the day is....

Lindsay and her mother, Kim, and daughter, Macy were choosen for this project HERE.

Exciting, right?

Do you think if I asked CJane could come? And bring Stephanie? And we could all eat lunch together?

I'm pushing it. I know.

Do you think any of my pants will still fit?

Just a glimpse. Into my heart.

Jace keeps bringing dogs home. We have housed 9 dogs since our arrival in Chandler.

That's right. I said Nine. The doors keeps revolving. I'm sure their is a name for people like us who test drive pets.

I sold a puppy yesterday to Wes. So, we are now down to 4 Jack Russells.

5 dogs, a couple rainy/muddy days, and snot noses. Turns out- it is not a great combination for my sanity. I've lost it. I was crying this morning in the car, while taking my kids to school and Gabriella was singing to Troy....

"I've got to go my own my way.....I've got to move on and be who I am." - She sang. And I cried.

I had never owned a dog until Jace came along. Mauriah was allergic. Mike threw rocks at the neighbor's barking pets. Addie was terrified. It never could have worked.

I am a lover of children and husbands. I want to take care of them. I want to feed, water, pet, potty train, and walk them. Everyday. There is not a lot of room left in my small heart.

Today I met Wendy. She was parked up at the top of my street. She was looking concerned. She was on her cell phone. I sped by fast. Wendy followed me home.

"Is that your dog?"

Pause. Crap.

"Yep."

"And you have another, named Max?"

Another pause. Double crap.

"Yep."

"They were running down the middle of Copper Rd. I got Max to jump into my car but I could not get the other one to come with me. I was so worried. If my dogs were running in the middle of the road, I would be so scared."

Nice.

"I'm so sorry."

"Do you think I could keep Max?"

Don't answer to quickly. She'll think you have a small, cold heart.

"yyyyess."

Don't think bad thoughts about me. Max is going to love his new home. And I know those puppies are adorable. And I know how much Ezra loves his "tinies." I really want to be a dog lover. But I must. I must. Get rid of a couple more dogs. If you love dogs and are concerned about their safety while running down majors roads - call me. We can arrange for the happy trade of the dogs for my sanity back.

Parties, Earrings, and Covenants

The day was cold and quiet. She wore the same dress I did when I was baptized by my father 20 years ago at the same building. She sang a primary song with Noah. She was worried her curls wouldn't make it all the way under and that she would have to be dunked again and again. But in the end, that would have been ok with her, the water was warm. She asked "backstage" in her dripping wet dress if she could swim a lap or maybe just to the steps? We ate her favorite roast beef sandwiches. I was so proud of her. And her Dad.

Turning eight at our house not only means baptism but also earrings. We have been talking about this day for years but in the end it almost didn't happen. Mattie held her hands. Macy cried and changed her mind. I held her head. And it was over before she knew it started. Five minutes later, she was posing in the streets.

Mattie, along with her Mom, Grandma, sisters, and cousins showed up on our doorstep the morning of her birthday. It was the best birthday surprise. It invoked tears, squeals, and hugs and then again when they had to leave.

I love this girl so much. She has grown up so much this past year. I love her sense of humor and how she tries not to laugh at her parents jokes. She is so thoughtful of her brothers and her friends. She is a rule follower and likes to be reassured that we are all on the right side of the law. Choosing the right comes so easy to her. She is my joy. We feel so blessed to have her in our home.

I used to wonder what in the world I was thinking, birthing a child this time of year. But maybe I was wrong. She is the perfect way to end a year and begin a new one. She has taught us so much and at times we feel like we are growing up along side her. I am honored to know her sweet spirit and how it reminds me how thankful I am to be a mother. Her mother.

Our Year.

I ain't going to lie. I cannot wait for this year to be over.

Funny how a random Tuesday night in Vernal, Utah can change your entire life. Physical address. Jobs. Schools. Sleeping habits. My feelings on gun control. Entire life - I tell you.

Never even saw it coming.

I am over the anger. The frustration. The fear. I am over the dreams lost-my dream of where and how I would raise my family. I have accepted changes that have come this year. It has taken me all year to get here.

I am Braver. Stronger. Poorer. Lonelier. Better.

2010?

Bring it.

Our changes this year could also have a little something to do with wadding knee deep in this bull crap economy. And a little something with the fact the Baums are incapable of having a plan A or B. Let's not give Beau Peterson all the credit- just 75.8% of it.

My kids are still cute. Halloween 2009. Ezra turned 3. Thanksgiving 2009. We are still alive. In pictures. In no particular order.

Surprised you didn't I? I may or may not update this private blog after all.

Saturday Morning

It wasn't the first time I have been stranded, with 3 children. Far from it. I've sat on the highway between Heber and Show Low (Heber and Snowflake, Heber and Holbrook, Heber and Mesa, ect.) multiply times.

I did not even cuss when the '78 Ford that we just lovingly dumped $1,500.00 into decided to take a break on the side of the road.

I wasn't even missing our 4-wheeler. The one Jace traded for this new yellow beast of ours. The 4-wheeler that never wanted to take a break, especially when I was towing all 3 of my children. The 4-wheeler that was probably speeding thru the forest on that very morning, carrying the new owner - laughing all the way. I didn't even think bad thoughts about him.

We just patiently waited for our rescue party from Show Low to retrieve us.

We tried not to make eye contact with passing motorists. We did not want to give the impression that this was a road side emergency. Nah, this is just how the Baum's roll.

Our only mechanic in the car couldn't read english, so we patiently waited some more.

Grandma Mikey and the Flake girls laughed at the sight of us, then loaded us into the truck headed for home.

Jace called me after work to let me know he found the abandoned Ford on the side of the road. He also let me know that when the key was put back into the ignition and then turned, the engined hummed to life and then purred like a kitten all the way back to Heber.

I might have said a cuss word then.

P.S. Don't be cussing when the Baum's abandon you on the side of the road called Privacy Lane. Leave me your email address. This is one high fashion ride you may not want to miss.

When we grow up.

A treasure was rediscovered this week.

(When you move every 6 weeks like we do, treasures are sometimes forgotten about, packed, misplaced and then found again. It's almost like Christmas every 6 weeks. Almost.)

The treasure was promptly taped onto the boy's bedroom wall.

Did you know that Macy wants to be a Mom when she grows up?

Twins please. One boy. One girl.

Did you know Noah dreams of being an astronaut? Who knew, right?

Ezra liked the looks of this one. Perhaps he is missing the liberating days of diapers and being able to eat his toes.

And surprise! Jace wants to be a farmer when he grows up.

I dreamed my whole life of this job here. And it is the life.

I used to do this. Happy days.

I spend an awful lot of my grown up life here, at this job. My mac isn't nearly as cute as that green, vintage typewritter and I would bet she has her heels on, with apron tied around her waist, and that she just put her 1st batch of bread in the oven.

Remember when you thought that was what grown up life was going to be like?

Macy started gymnastics.

The coach told her wearing a leotard was optional. Optional? Right. You try telling the 7 year old girl that she does not need to wear her pink leotard every single week. I watched her prance/shimi into class today in her pink leotard.

Remember when you used to feel beautiful in only a pink leotard? Remember when you used to walk with your hands out at your hips as you pranced into a room?

Those were the days.

Then we all grow up.

MY PRIVACY CLAUSE: I love to talk to people. I love to drill them about their lives. So, I assume that you want to talk and question me in return, so instead of waiting for you to do so, I go ahead and spill my beans. All my beans. All the time. And lately, just every once in awhile, I'll be spilling about my life to a relative, friend of a friend, stranger, ect. and soon their head is nodding, they are smiling and I have this feeling like - crap! I already told them this story. I hate when I do that. But then the person will just say - "I read it on your blog." Oh. So technically, I am that person that repeats the same stories over and over. Crap. Are you tired of hearing my stories over and over? Are you politely nodding and waiting for this story to be over right now? Crap. We are going private. But you like the taste of my beans? And you have not left your email address for me here? Leave me a comment. Leave me your email address. Leave both if you like. Just don't say I didn't invite you to partake of our beans - our left over - repeated beans.