Just a glimpse. Into my heart.

Jace keeps bringing dogs home. We have housed 9 dogs since our arrival in Chandler.

That's right. I said Nine. The doors keeps revolving. I'm sure their is a name for people like us who test drive pets.

I sold a puppy yesterday to Wes. So, we are now down to 4 Jack Russells.

5 dogs, a couple rainy/muddy days, and snot noses. Turns out- it is not a great combination for my sanity. I've lost it. I was crying this morning in the car, while taking my kids to school and Gabriella was singing to Troy....

"I've got to go my own my way.....I've got to move on and be who I am." - She sang. And I cried.

I had never owned a dog until Jace came along. Mauriah was allergic. Mike threw rocks at the neighbor's barking pets. Addie was terrified. It never could have worked.

I am a lover of children and husbands. I want to take care of them. I want to feed, water, pet, potty train, and walk them. Everyday. There is not a lot of room left in my small heart.

Today I met Wendy. She was parked up at the top of my street. She was looking concerned. She was on her cell phone. I sped by fast. Wendy followed me home.

"Is that your dog?"

Pause. Crap.

"Yep."

"And you have another, named Max?"

Another pause. Double crap.

"Yep."

"They were running down the middle of Copper Rd. I got Max to jump into my car but I could not get the other one to come with me. I was so worried. If my dogs were running in the middle of the road, I would be so scared."

Nice.

"I'm so sorry."

"Do you think I could keep Max?"

Don't answer to quickly. She'll think you have a small, cold heart.

"yyyyess."

Don't think bad thoughts about me. Max is going to love his new home. And I know those puppies are adorable. And I know how much Ezra loves his "tinies." I really want to be a dog lover. But I must. I must. Get rid of a couple more dogs. If you love dogs and are concerned about their safety while running down majors roads - call me. We can arrange for the happy trade of the dogs for my sanity back.

Parties, Earrings, and Covenants

The day was cold and quiet. She wore the same dress I did when I was baptized by my father 20 years ago at the same building. She sang a primary song with Noah. She was worried her curls wouldn't make it all the way under and that she would have to be dunked again and again. But in the end, that would have been ok with her, the water was warm. She asked "backstage" in her dripping wet dress if she could swim a lap or maybe just to the steps? We ate her favorite roast beef sandwiches. I was so proud of her. And her Dad.

Turning eight at our house not only means baptism but also earrings. We have been talking about this day for years but in the end it almost didn't happen. Mattie held her hands. Macy cried and changed her mind. I held her head. And it was over before she knew it started. Five minutes later, she was posing in the streets.

Mattie, along with her Mom, Grandma, sisters, and cousins showed up on our doorstep the morning of her birthday. It was the best birthday surprise. It invoked tears, squeals, and hugs and then again when they had to leave.

I love this girl so much. She has grown up so much this past year. I love her sense of humor and how she tries not to laugh at her parents jokes. She is so thoughtful of her brothers and her friends. She is a rule follower and likes to be reassured that we are all on the right side of the law. Choosing the right comes so easy to her. She is my joy. We feel so blessed to have her in our home.

I used to wonder what in the world I was thinking, birthing a child this time of year. But maybe I was wrong. She is the perfect way to end a year and begin a new one. She has taught us so much and at times we feel like we are growing up along side her. I am honored to know her sweet spirit and how it reminds me how thankful I am to be a mother. Her mother.