Lactating Parents Club

Yes.  This is another post about breast-feeding.  I'm sorry but when it's your only special talent, you end up talking about it (and displaying it in public) too much.  I produce whole milk.  I produce fat and happy babies - all without so much as a thought.  What can I say?  It just comes naturally.  And it's special.

This month, the lactating club around my house had a new member join up.  Jace thought driving to Casa Grande to pick up 16 day old calves would be a good idea.  I tried telling him that he would not be a good substitute for the mama cows udders.  I tried telling him how much work it would be - he would be way in over his head!  He knows nothing about proper head cradling positions, proper latching techniques, colic, ensuring adequate hydration, and analyzing the newborn poop.

But all my warnings fell on deaf, naive ears.  He could not think of anything else.  Talk of anything else.  He hauled those poor orphan calves up the mountain and started his 2X a day feedings.  Soon those cows took over his mornings, his evenings, his thoughts and prayers, and my kitchen.  There was milk substitute to be mixed, mathematical formulas converting pints to gallons and then back to quarts to be figured, bottles and nipples to be washed and sanitized.

It wasn't until they starting dropping like flies that he admitted to his fellow club member that maybe 16 calves at once was just a few too many.  After all those feedings and stall cleanings.  After all that Pepto bismol and all the antibiotic shots, those cows were leaving this life faster than Jace could count.  Jace was saddened and confused.   After 2 weeks, we he went from 16 calves to 4 calves.  That's right.  4.  And I think it's worth mentioning that all 4 of the surviving, prancing calves are little girl calves.  I want to say that I think Jace learned his lesson but he I can hear him now talking in the other room about ordering just Holstein calves next time maybe they are a heartier breed.

I am going to tell him again tonight that the lesson to be learned here is this:  Unless you are born with the equipment attached - Leave the nursing of newborns to the mothers.  Go on home and eat dinner with your other 4 (real) children.

Love you Jace.  Maybe we could think of another club we could join together?  Book club?  Our kids our the cutest club? Chess?  Let me know.  I'll let you be club president.

Sunday.....(and Milestone 6 Months)

Sunday afternoon, Ezra on a scooter, spring weather, and the return of the sprinklers.

Today was Sunday.  Fast Sunday.  Fast Sunday may or may not be the reason my children are usually potty trained before they are weened from my breast.  Gestating/nursing mothers are excused from fasting (at least at my house).  I am a lousy faster, especially when church is at 1:00.  I felt like a dog this morning, eating my hot Grapenuts in front of Jace and Macy.  This was Macy's 1st attempt at fasting 2 meals and she did it! Without complaining!  I was so proud of her and I told her that a couple times.  She didn't see what the big deal was.  I didn't tell her that I could probably count on my hands how many times I have fasted an entire day.  And that is why I love that girl so much and why she is a way cooler person than me.

He really can't get enough.

During fast and testimony meeting today a man who served as bishop of the ward years ago stood to bear his testimony.  While speaking from the pulpit, he mentioned Brother Baum.  He said he loves watching Jace hug and kiss on his youngest daughter at church and that Jace sets a good example of what kind of father he wished he would have been to his children.

She rocks the leg warmers, btw.

He really does french kiss Mikael all thru Sunday school....it's like a tick....if any one of his children are near him, his lips are on them. I hope my kids know how lucky they are to have a father like Jace.  It was one of the many reasons I fell in love with him, he is not afraid to show or exclaim his love thru words or public displays of affection.

And she knows it.

And so we should now discuss the lucky youngest daughter.  Mikael has reached milestone 6 months.  And I hate it.  I hate that she getting older and bigger.  I loved her newborn days and am sad to see them racing away.  I am constantly trying to play the "I just had a baby" card and that is now a lie.  She is half a year!

6 months.

Today at church, (yes, we are still talking about church) a new gal in the ward was admiring the Mikael in my arms.

"Oh!  How old is she?"

"6 months."

She was clucking and shaking her head in disbelief when she said, "And you already look awesome."

To which I replied, "I know."

She smiled, turned and started walking away.  After a couple steps following behind her, it hit me.


Whaatt the???  Did I really just say that?  Why?  For the love.


I sped up, grabbed her shoulder, turned her around and tried to explain,  "I did not mean to say that.  I thought...mmmmm........ we were still talking about the baby....mumble....... mumble........ ah....... she....I do not.....sorry."

She smiled and said something like, "There is nothing wrong with having confidence."

Ya Right.  Nice.

All I meant to say today is what I have been feeling all week.  I have been clucking and shaking my head in disbelief that my newborn baby is 6 months old.  I wish she would just stop growing.  I wish she would learn how to sleep thru the night but just stop growing bigger.  I love that little lady.

And while we are talking about wishes, I wish I could spend the rest of my life on the "breastfeeding diet."  I wish I looked a little more awesome holding a 6 month old baby in my arms.  I wish I didn't say embarrassing things in public.   And I wish I could get Jace to spread the french kissing love around my way in Sunday school  (I'm sure somebody would have something to say about that in the next fast & testimony meeting).

Milestones

5 Months

BFF

She is still a little dolly.  But no one loves her more than Ezra.  He is grabbing, poking, laughing, and talking to her all day long.  These are just some of the names he calls her:

• toot basket
• chicken toes
• little fart
• fatso
• a bum
• sweet little Mikaels

It has been a rough ride for this little lady this month.  I'm not going to lie about it.  The ear infection out stayed it's welcome and horrible sleeping habits were acquired.  When she cries out every hour during the night,  her mother cries too.  I have met a 9 year old toting a crying baby in the middle of the hall in the wee hours more than I care to admit this month.  Sometimes I might call her a little fart too.

7 Years

My 7 seven year old son.  Not afraid of anything.

Noie Boie Baum turned 7 on Feb. 11th.  He wanted to shoot a gun on his big day and eat at a Chinese buffet.  Right when I think I got this kid figured out he surprises me.  Some of the things he is loving right now:

• Wrestling (he was king of the mat last week and hasn't let us forget it)
• rice and pasta (still)
• Star Wars (still)
• neighborhood boys
• swimming
• cousins
• reading (he is tearing up the 1st grade)
• chips (the spicier the better - Grandma and Papa gifted him 2 of his very own bags on his big day)

I have driven by the school at recess and watched as Noah slashed thru the air with a pretend sword and kicked about while flinging pretend num chucks.  He has told me that everyone says he is the best one at sword fighting "because I do it so good."  Well put Dwight Schrute.  I seriously love this kid.

32 Years

And I seriously love this guy.  We celebrated his 32 years on Earth on Feb. 20th.  He is the life of the party.  He kids adore him and his wife follows him around - waiting for him to make her laugh again.

He doesn't complain about much.  Loves his family and friends and would do just about anything for them.  You would be lucky to make it on his list of family and friends.  You need a loan?  Bailed out of jail?  Picked up on the side of BFE?  A job?  A house?  You got it.  No questions asked.  You qualify.  Jace can not not help someone he loves.

He keeps our life interesting and keeps us moving.  When I die I will be able to say - I lived.  I really, really lived.  These are just some of the things he has talked to me about this week:

• owning a feed store
• bidding on a egg incubator
• dropping off one of his handicapped chickens in a stranger's yard
• where the full grown Rottweiler dog will sit on 7 hour drive home
• corn grinders
• how good his feet feel in his new "five finger" shoes.  I call them his dog fight shoes - as in I wouldn't wear them to a dog fight - but they are making his feet feel good - so whatever.
• how to keep the dog catcher away
• building a water park in the middle of an irrigation pond

Happy Birthday Lover.  I love you, even if I hate most some of your ideas.

Don't forget to check out all the action going on over here.

When He is gone

I wear my stretchy pants he hates. I eat frozen pizza for dinner. I lay awake all night in my lonely, big bed thinking, plotting, and listening for the next intruder. I cry when my sister emails me youtube videos about funny, happy people in love. I study my ginormous mirror, like she did, and contemplate about all the tlc I'm giving and missing.

I contemplate my wants, wishes, heartaches and things I know. One thing I know for sure. I want to be a good mother. I want to be a good wife. But I've decided I can't be.




Not without him.

When He is gone I miss him.

Jace took me on a boat ride. And a house progress report.

Last night as we were skimming across the waters of Saguaro Lake at dusk, the warm wind in our faces and hair, five children were laughing trying catch their breath, as our boat crashed up and down thru every wave and ripple in the water. Shadows from the looming red rock walls had darkened the waters and relaxed our squinting eyes.

A "David Hasselhoff" reference was made about the handsome, shirtless man navigating the boat thru the waters. I know he won't mind that his co-captain this summer is not of the Pamela Lee variety but of the Kim Seaman type. I felt just like my beautiful Mom sitting in the upper passenger chair next to my husband, holding the baby, passing out towels, life jackets, and nourishment to any empty belly. My swimsuit wet only from splashing children and wet towels.

There was a time when I would have been racing Addie to the back deck of Mike's boat to jump off into the icy waters. Grandpa Don would be there in the deep waters teaching us to swim, float, and then to water ski. There was also a time I would have been racing Jessica to any boat that would pull us around on a wake board. My Dad was the best driver. He would cuss, instruct, and zoom past us in the water after a fall. The rope handle would land in our hands again and he would pull us up out of the water again and again.

"Ready? Ready?," He would yell.
I would nod, then yell, "Ready. Let's go."

We weren't allowed back into the boat until we stopped crying, cussing, or until we conquered.

There is no better way to enjoy Arizona. I love to live here. Swimming in dark, cool lake water is fine. Feeling whiplash for days after a tube ride is great fun. Wake boarding is a thrill. But without a doubt, the best part of a lake trip is the boat ride. The smell of the vinyl upholstery, gasoline fumes, the hum of the engine, cousins, siblings, and the wind made my heart very happy last night. I should know better than to let Jace take me on a boat test drive.

Mr. Boatman, I think you have yourself a deal.



Long overdue Progress Report on the house:

We are living in it. Our temporary residence rolled out of our yard last Friday. I wish I could say my heart wasn't jumping for joy but it was. The night I have to sleep in a 5th wheel trailer again will be a night too soon. We have been scrambling to finish to house, therefore still kind of camping. Things are slowly coming together....and just like usual I'm waiting on the plumber. He's up to his eyeballs busy, so I try not to complain. He built me the finest barn posts yesterday and hooked up an R.O. system (AND took me on a boat ride). Stayed tuned for the big before and after photos....even Jace and I are astonished. Until then you can check out these:

Need I say more about the deep windowsills? Or the Ikea open shelving in the kitchen?

Every home that was once a barn should sport barn lanterns in the dining room.

Irrigation. Trees. Green grass. Swing.

White bat and board walls to match the exterior. Worn leather furniture. Need I say more about the deep windowsills? Ok, I will. The original barn was constructed out of 8" cinder block, then filled with dirt for insulation. When the original owner decided he wanted to try living in the barn he turned 2 x 4's on edge to frame, insulate, and sheetrock the original block walls. In turn the downstairs stay cool all day long and makes for some lovely, deep windowsills. One of many of the great perks we found as we demolished and revonated.

More pictures coming soon.

Long Distance Relationships: Lesson #2

Jace, My love, your lesson tonight is this: use your cell phone charger(s).  If your vehicle's cell phone charger breaks - buy another one.  

I have been walking around tonight thinking about all the things I need to do before spring break springs on upon us but I just can't force myself into action yet.  I've got no fire under me.  I wish I could talk to you tonight.  I wish I could ask a hundred questions about the house.  What did the framers accomplish today?  How did the front door look?  Are the windows on their way?  Is the electrician still coming tomorrow?  Do you still miss me?  Do you still love me?  Do you remember our children's names?  It just doesn't feel right going to bed without our nightly ritual of good night phone calls.  I can still hear Ezra tossing and turning in the other room.  He's probably wondering why that one guy still hasn't called.

My heart tonight is remembering earlier days on Paloma,  when I would wait around for a nightly phone call.  When it would come, my heart would skip a beat and I would take the call in the privacy of my upstairs bedroom on the phone that looks an awful lot like this:

On the phone that Macy discovered at Grandma Mikey's years back, took claim of and now conducts conversations with Troy Bolton on.   I haven't told her anything about the many forbidden conversations, tears, and secrets that have been whispered thru that phone.  

My old conversations were almost always interrupted by Jordy Fuentes on call waiting.  Fights over phone minutes and usage would always ensue.  

I'm sure glad those days are over.  

Well, the fighting and the whispering and the waiting for the wrong boy to call are over.  And don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled the Fuentes family decided to extend their "conversation" into eternity and thrilled Jessica and I no longer have to share phone minutes but I'm afraid the pathetic waiting around and the ol' heart skipping a beat and the wishing I could take the call in the privacy of my own room - I still experience nightly.  

Only this time it's the right boy on the other end of the line (when he chooses to call).  Now if only I could find him one of those solar powered cell phone batteries so he'd never run out of juice, we could talk all night long about exterior paint, school assemblies, invoice #748, diarrhea, roof shingles, and address changes.  How romantic.  I bet he can't hardly wait for tomorrow's call.

Sleep tight Babe.

Have you met Jace?

Did you know that he turned 30 yesterday?

30.

I'm married to a 30 year old.


I wanted to interview him for his 30th birthday because he is so good looking and stuff. But it went something like this:


L: Do you want to say anything about turning 30? How do you feel?


J: (answer: something completely inappropriate that I can't post on my blog in case my future posterity ever reads it.)


L: Anything you want to do in the next 30 years?


J: Have a few more kids. A swimming pool.


L: Anything else?


J: Nope.


That sums up my Jace. I get a kick out of him. I think you would too. He really is the life of our party.


I would like to say something about my friend's 1st 30 years. He's accomplished much. To some it may not seem like much but to me (and him) it is much. Back when I first met Jace he told me one day that he was going to have a house paid off by the time he was 30. That's sweet, I thought. But 30 years and 4 days into Jace's life he will do just that. And one of these days I will post of picture of that house....like when we rip off the roof and the balcony, add a garage, and re-side the entire structure. Have I mentioned that we purchased a PROJECT? He never mentioned what kind of house he was going to have paid for but just like everything else he does, he is going to go at it 100 mph. Jace runs at full speed and accomplishes much and I for the most part enjoy watching him do it and try to keep up. I can't wait to see what the next 30 years will bring with Jace, with his determination, a lot of Divine help, and a little luck.


But back to our party.


Jace and I share the responsibility of raising the children. Some of my responsibilities include bearing them, changing diapers, feeding, bathing, homework, tucking in, ect. Jace's responsibilities are limited to the clipping of all fingernails, supervising dangerous activities, bike riding lessons, piggy backs, and whisker pies. And for this the kids adore him:

He does make cute kids.

He tells me it's hard work.

Did I mention I got a 3rd place ribbon at the local science fair this week? I mean Macy did.

And that the boys both got hair cuts?

And that I got my hair colored this week?

And my 30 year old husband enjoys all the new hairdos around here?

Isn't life grand?

Happy Birthday Babe! We love you.

Long Distance Relationships: Lesson #1

Here we have Lorenzo Hill Hatch.  My Great, Great, Great Grandpa on my Mom's side.  What? He's your grandpa too?  GET OUT. 

Grandpa Hatch had 4 wives in his lifetime.  3 of them at the same time.  They would bear him 24 children (the reason why he is your grandpa too). He and his 3rd wife, Alice Hansen, helped found a settlement in Arizona that would later be called Taylor.  Grandma Alice hated the wind and wrote about how hard water was to locate. Grandma Alice was a saint. Her husband had 2 other families to care for in Utah and Idaho.  Therefore, making it difficult to spend time with Alice and the kids.  He would occasionally get back down to Arizona to visit and feed the family.

Not cool.  

Jace, lesson #1 is this:  The days of polygamy are gone and so should the days of long distance marriage and child rearing be as well.  I'm going to need to see you more than occasionally.  Please don't find a Utah family (or Idaho family for that matter).  We are going to need all of you.  TO OURSELVES.  Thank you.  

And one more thing, remember how I was yelling into my cell phone this evening because I couldn't the @#%$^# fire to start.  Well, I guess after 38 kindling sticks, a stack of paper, and 45 minutes with a blow torch.  Twice.  Something caught fire.  That's right.  I see flames where flames have refused to be all day: 

I admit.  I'm no Alice.  It's a lot like living with the hanicapped, pioneer cousin that had to be pulled in the hand cart the whole way, when living with me.  And I apologize.  For the cursing AND acting like a handicapped cousin.  I love you.

For those of you who don't know, the fine print reads:  I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter Saints, or a Mormon.  Mormons no longer practice polygamy.  Jace and Lindsay Baum practice complete fidelity.  We are not looking for substitute mates.  I completely love and honor all my ancestors.  My 3rd child is named after Lorenzo and Alice's son, Ezra Taft Hatch.  My sarcasm is meant to imply that I miss my husband and I'm not very good at being a single mother of 3.  capisce?    

Wait a second.....

Did it seem I was complaining (whining) in the last post?  Can I explain?  

My friend Jace Baum wants to feed me, clothe me, place a roof over my sorry head, love me, grope me, and most of all wants to see me HAPPY.  He tries.  Real hard.  When the tears were falling in Utah last week and I was begging him to "just get in the car with me and come home with me.....We tried it.  We saw it.  Can we just call it a wash?"  I could see it on his face and in his eyes.  He thought about it.  Long and hard.  It kills him to see me sad.  He would've got in the car.  He would have put a stop to the tears right there.  

Do you know what that tastes like?  Guilt.

Do you know what the best find in Vernal, UT is that I forgot to mention?   That I continually forget about?  The paycheck.  The one that will be deposited into my personal checking account tonight around 12:01 am.  For heaven sakes.  I think I'm going to survive my little transfer.  Jace Baum has yet to drive my life into a ditch.  I have had to reach over and grab the wheel a time or two (or three, or 37) but all in all we have been abundantly blessed.  Hello, have you seen our kids?  Oh, you forgot how sweet they are?  

They don't come sweeter than this.

Well OK, maybe this one does.

Seriously?  I know I will love Vernal.  I will love Utah.  I will love the people.  I'm sure I'll even grow to love Jace in camo and the pink dinosaur greeting me on Main street.  I will come to find why Heavenly Father opened this door, at this time, for us.  The tears are not out of fear, anger, or desperation.  The tears are for what I'm leaving behind.  Life here was good.  We have had a hell of a run here the White Mountains.  We made some really good friends, memories, and choices.  And I'm not planning on changing that......just location.

By the way, our new realtor called today.  The homeowners accepted our offer.  The offer is now on it's way to the bank.  We hear banks are wanting to get rid of houses and bad debt lately.  We shall see.  We are one step closer to homeownership again.  In Utah.  My heart has been racing and my palms sweaty with excitement.  My brain refuses to stop building porches, tearing down walls, picking out wall colors, adding trim, and planting grass.  

What I'm getting at is....I'm really moving and I'm going to do with a smile on my face.  Husbands and wives should live in the same state.  Just know I'm going to miss you.  Sisters.  Parents.  Wards.  Taylor Elementary.  Eva's.  Blossom.  Sonic.  Friends.  Mrs. Larson's Preschool.  Bashas cub house.  Aerobics.  Pioneer Park.  Neighbors.  You know who you are. 

Why my kids are the luckiest ....

Jace Baum is their father.

1. These children could not be prouder of their Father's recent "Piston Cup" on Mario Cart-Wii.

2. Jace's first attempt at diaper changing consisted of 1 roll of duct tape, 1 wet baby girl, and a skin rash that lasted just 1 day.


3. Jace will haul his kids or your kids to the nearest cattle auction, farm, swap meet, or fish hatchery.

4. He always has candy, beef jerky, sunflower seeds and gatorade in his truck. And he shares.


5. He can watch the same Disney movie or Nickelodeon T.V. show over and over.


6. He has to have fingernails to rub and will hold your hand for hours.


7. When given a backrub "until the big hand gets to the 5" he will take you to Wal-Mart for the promised toy aisle trip.


8. He loves taking baths with his kids.


9. He loves when its his turn to read and lay by the kids at night.


10. He gives the longest and scariest 4-wheeler rides.


11. He's a ball on vacation.


12. He is so pleased that his boys love the moos and the bock bocks that live all around us.


13. He spoils his kids rotten BUT also expects good behavior at all times.
14. Loves to turn up Michael Jackson(at the moment)and dances with his kids almost every morning.



15. He loves kool aid and wishes his wife would give it to her kids every once and in awhile.
16. He makes the best plate size pancakes.


17. Frequents Arby's every Saturday for biscuits and gravy. It is a treat.


18. Can sword fight, carry on a conversation, and get the baby dressed all at the same time.


19. Kisses, hugs, pinches, squeezes, and teases until the tears start and sometimes longer.


20. The kids love riding in his truck, where car seats don't exsist and the volume of the hard rock music is ear drum damaging.


21. He is the hardest working Dad. Committed to family, gospel, and teaching us all to be better people....and not to mention really good looking.

Happy Father's Day Jace Baum.