Goodbyes

I remember the day very clearly, or the moment rather. I was 9. Kristi Monson was her name and best friends was our game. My mom and I were dropping her off after our last official sleep over. She would move to Texas the next day. As we pulled into the driveway of that blue house, Kristi mumbled something like goodbye and hopped out of the van. To hug, cry, carry on, and tell each other how much we were going to miss each other would have been too hard and besides we didn't have to. We already knew that our lives would never be the same without each other in it. I thought my heart was going to literally break and the tears never end as I rode home beside my mom. I would not lay eyes on Kristi Monson again until the night of my wedding reception. I have often wondered how different my life would have been if she had stayed in it.

Macy is 6. Mattie Claire is her name. Macy has never loved another like she loves her Mattie, her "spirit sister". They were forced to officially say goodbye last night. Mattie is on her way to the far, far away place of Wisconsin. The girls half heartedly hugged each other, mumbled something like goodbye, looking at their parents like - "is this for real?" and climbed into their separate vehicles. It was then the tears and carrying on started and has yet to stop. Life will not be the same with out Mattie Claire.

There are 6 of us. Sisters. Kirsten is the 2nd oldest. I half heartedly hugged her last night, cried, and mumbled something like goodbye. To tell her how much I love her and how much I'm going to miss her would have hurt too much. Besides, I think she knows. She is my sister. My heart is broken. I do not have to call my other sisters today to know that their hearts are in pieces as well. My life in Snowflake will never be the same. Who's going to call me to say "I'm just checkin' on you" and who's going to come over to hold up pictures on the wall, help with paint chip choices and look up phone numbers for me? I need to hear her smartelic comments, her laugh, and the way she can make my mom laugh. You could hear my mom's heart breaking last night. This day was bound to come. But Kirsten? Never. She married Dan. A true blue Lobo for life. This day was not suppose to come. We have never had to say goodbye. That was the plan, to never have to say goodbye.

Hurry home Flakes.

Oh, and Macy - I lied. You do need a sister. 2 brothers won't do. Every girl needs a friend in the world like a sister. I just happened to luck out. I happen to have 5. I'll see what I can do about that.